If not specified, the speaker is Adam Carolla, co-host of Loveline.

It is now organized into categories. For your convenience, the most recent quotes in a given category are at the top of the category's page. Therefore, when you enter a category, the newest entries will be right in front of you. Get it?

Though nearly all of these quotes are transcribed verbatim, some are not necessarily word-for-word; they may have been adjusted for clarity. They may be hilarious, random, or intelligent; some of them are serious.

The best way to appreciate Adam Carolla's genius, however, is to listen to Loveline yourself. Some quotes are only funny if you listen regularly, or if you listened to a particular episode. I try to update this archive as much as possible, usually about once a week. It depends on how much time I have.

Some of you have asked, "Why don't you put Dr. Drew quotes?" The answer is, even though he's not as funny as Adam, it goes without saying that everything Drew says is worth listening to.