• GAT (Gay Aptitude Test)
• BEAT (Boobville Entrance Aptitude Test)
• WHAT (Women's Heterosexual Aptitude Test)
• SAT (Slut Aptitude Test)

Give yourself...

• 5pts- If you wear a turtle-neck sweater unseasonably;
• 5pts- If you eat yogurt more than twice a week;
• 1pt- For every plant you have in the house, excluding marijuana and fly traps;
• 3pts- For every plant you've named;
• 1pt- For every pair of ankle high tennis socks you own;
• 1pt- For every poster or picture framed in your room;
• 5pts- For every poster of a musical or play;
• 1pt- For every skin care product you own;
• 5pts- If you have a padded toilet seat cover;
• 5pts- If you have a shag carpet on lid of toilet tank;
• 5pts- If you drink a lot of diet coke;
• 5pts- If you have potpourri in your bathroom;
• 1pt- For potpourri in any other room;
• 3pts- If you wrap gifts in something other than newspaper or tin foil;
• 5pts- If you have stationery;
• 25pts- If you have a squeegee in the shower;

• 100 pts if you've ever blown a guy.

• Below 9 pts, you're straight.
• Between 9 and 15 pts, then you're probably not gay, but pretty close!
• Above a 17, then you've gotta be gay; or at least you're "a six-pack away from a blow job."

• 2 points for each of the following publications which you currently subscribe to:

Bigtop
Gent
Field & Stream
Press Bonanza
Hooterville
Popular Mechanics
Bra Buster
Friskee Cut
Melon Town
D-Cup
Milkin' Poppin'



• Give yourself 5 points if you've ever been to Russ Mire's Bra Museum;
• 10 points if you cried when you had to leave;
• 15 points if you tried to hide so that you could run amuck with your pants down around your ankles after it closed;
• 1 point for every time you've yearned to break free of the shackles of the oppressive man and start fresh in a place with a boob-shaped roller coaster;
• 5 points for every time you've killed half a day at Victoria's Secret pricing bras for your girlfriend;
• 3 points if you took home a catalog;
• 10 points if you lied about the whole girlfriend part;
• Deduct 1 point for each time you've agreed with Drew;
• 1 point for every time you've perused the Big Top section of the local video store;
• 3 points if you brought a sack lunch;
• 5 points if you had your mom waiting out in the car the whole time;
• Give yourself 1 point for each of the following skills you possess:

sheet rocking
tin knocking
tub caulking
street walking
trash talking
sheer walling
grab-a-hauling
tree falling
towel installing
hog calling
CPR

Give yourself...

• 5 pts- If you have ever made a collage out of clippings from a woman's magazine;
• 1 pt- For every time you've faked an orgasm;
• 5 more pts- If done while having oral sex;
• 25 more pts- If done while he was in the bathroom;
• 10 pts- If you own cullotes;
• 10 pts- If you've ever gone out in cowboy boots and cycling shorts;
• 5 pts- If you've ever uttered the phrase "right now, I just need to be held...";
• 10 pts- If you think it's okay to punch your boyfriend while he's sleeping because you had a dream that he hit on one of your friends;
• 15 pts- If whenever you go out with your female friends, the conversation quickly turns to menustration;
• 20 pts- If you wish all women would magically put on 40 lbs;
• 3 pts- For every stuffed animal you own;
• 5 pts- For every one you've named;
• 20 pts- For every one you've had an intimate relationship with;
• 5 pts- For every time you've sworn up and down that you don't masturbate;
• 3 pts- If you don't know how many cylinders your car has;
• 5 pts- If you're not sure what a cylinder is;
• 5 pts- For every workout video you own;
• 5 pts- If you've never worked out to any of them;
• 15 pts- If the only person that has worked out to them is your boyfriend;
• 3 pts- If you've ever put unicorn decals on your fingernails;
• 5 pts- If you've ever taped "Days Of Our Lives," "Beverly Hills 90210," "Melrose Place," or "Savannah";
• Deduct 15 pts- If you've ever taped "This Old House";
• 5 pts- If you have BIG hair; and,
• 25 pts- If you've ever faked an injury to get out of sex.