Act 1
Deep inside the secret board room of Phillip Morris Inc....
 
 
Executive #1: "We've lost yet another Tabacco lawsuit, this could ruin us!"

Executive #2: "Not only that, but anti-smoking campaigning is reaching an all time high! If this keeps up..."

Executive #3: "Summon the Chairman of the Board, he'll know what to do!"
 

Thus the sacred rite is performed to call for the the Chairman of the Board

SATAN!!!

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