One year in my Life...December 2001
Let's see if we can take a long walk....a long walk along the pathways of my year 2001. There were innumerable highs and lows, and plenty of inbetweens, some unnerving and some memorable peaks. I just want to remember it the way I wrote it when it happened, in the exact same words I used to describe some of it, that way I am relishing in the moment, but keeping my mind open for something better, elevating, and refreshing experiences for the next years. I thought what other way to highlight this month December than to make an entry filled with all the highlights of all my entries.
Journals culled from: Aphie's Rants and Pieces, my fan fiction, and all the other scribbling I put down that no one really pays attention to.
Top 5 best stories I wrote this year
1) My Love where art thou...The AJ and Shelia story. I had just seen The Gift when I wrote this, I had seen that movie and attended my first BSB concert in January, so it all accumulated into one blow up story, a whole mass of emotions and a tearjerker every time I read it.
2) The Madness squabble...I wasn't mad, I swear I wasn't. But I had this great sense of screaming out for help, for rescue, unless I would go out of my mind. It helped when I wrote this down, I didn't feel so violated eventually.
3) Teenage Groupie up to a point...the first 5 chapters maybe because they hold some measure of realism, and it was just me playing around with words, people, scenes, and channeling my rage into something, and it felt good, turned out into one of the most realistic stories I have ever concocted about an almost real life situation.
4) Quiet Time...I needed to find a space where I would spend one nice evening, all alone with the one man that intrigues me. Talking drinking, finding a streamline for our thoughts, it has been my dream to share that time with someone and this time it came out in a story with the man as the star. It is amusing now that I think of it, but everyone needs that one night alone with someone.
5) The very best to me is Conversations with a Stranger, everything about the story is beautiful, the magic it instilled in even up to now, the splendor of the location (a place I have often wished I could visit but has not been given the chance) everything makes this "the story" for me so much I can't believe I wrote it.
6) Also, all the little nifty poems I insert at the beginning of every month's entry. They are poems I can's begin to imagine writing, they were just captured in the moment.
Top 5 worst memories this year.
1) Sept 11th tragedy coupled with Aaliyah's plane crash. It is more haunting that I can't remember what I was doing when several people lost their lives.
I thought of
those poor people who had to watch their lives being snuffed from them within
the blink of an eye without having any hold of their destiny. Just imagine that
one could be sitting staring out the window of their offices one morning, and
then Bam! Something bangs into your office and snuffs your life away without you
taking a breath. I am sure they had dreams, hopes, aspirations of what or where
they would rather be 50 or so years from now, and now those hopes, etc, have
been squashed terribly. Then, their names would be set in the formal documents
captioned as a
“was” and the eerie date of their death marked after their birth years. ::shakes head in
despair::
A vision I sometimes shut out of my eyes every hour of my waking day.
At this time, I was still getting over the tragic death of Aaliyah by a plane accident that I couldn’t quite understand what life was for when death was so near. Then, I thought why would I want to bring a child into this world where there is so much hate, sadness, pain, and judgment. We randomly judge people in our heads and when they fail to meet up to our expectations or their ideals differ strongly from ours, we go on to extricate them from our midst, rudely and unjustly taking their life into our hands. This is so unfair and quite unlike what God---who gave us this life—must have had in mind for us.
We are not in charge of ourselves---God is. He should be the one to take life and cast judgments---not us. Some how in the midst of our craziness and swollen headedness we had failed to see that, and that is such a sad decision on our paths? Whatever happened to the people who got together to raid Apartheid, or World hunger, AIDS or sat around and sang "We Are The World?" What became of those people? Were they consumed with hate?
2) Missing a considerable portion of my self and the things I used to enjoy doing.