June 2001...my 27^th birthday

I look at people, slowly I watch them as they look right through me. They pass upon their lives, and meander through their days, and tackle all their tasks without noticing me, glancing up at me, giving me a nod to ease my despair. I wonder what do they do, where have they been, what do they think, and whom do they love, who falls on the tip of their mouths as they awaken everyday, and whose name do they spit out when they finally lay……

I am so sorry that this month is going to be a little long...many thoughts to ponder with the many years I have been...sorry!!! 

To begin this month, I must lament a little, on my entry into this humongous age, kicking and screaming with every lung in my breath, hesitant to add another year to the amassing amount I had already garnered…am I really that old? Do I look that old? If I lied about my age to someone, misled him or her into thinking that I was younger, would they believe me? Can I still go for my BSB concerts (or any concerts for that matter) with reckless abandon?

Well, really…Aphie, one would think I was turning 40. Yes, I am old, in a young sort of way. However, age runs deeper than the number, it arises from experience, the things you’ve seen, the places you been, and the life experiences you’ve encountered…but I am sure you all have heard this before, even as I type this out I am not sure I believe it too much too, I just know that I am at this point where I am content with knowing enough, that I can safely correct or direct someone who is a great deal younger than I am, I am old, hence I have the wisdom and the knowledge, (though I might not sound it) of someone who has walked 27 million miles, been to 27 million places, and been in 27 million circumstances that with each year I walk a million journeys and see a million things, and so I am blessed to have encountered, happy to have become, and proud to have been a part of the 27 wondrous years of my life. I am not young, and I should stop wishing that I was, for if I were, I would not have been able to have seen the millionth of things that my life has so far endowed and educated me with. Therefore, that’s my take, after bitter tears and bloodshed when I entered the year I came to this nice neat conclusion. More so, I said a little prayer that I get to take my life adventure as the years go by. Amen.

To celebrate the birthday my family went all out with a fancy birthday dinner, chocolate cake, surprise presents, emails and cards from all over the globe, everything. I was thoroughly mesmerized by it all, I was hoping no one would make a fuzz about an old fart like me, but… oh no!…as early as the beginning of May I had started to get presents, from as far away as Australia, can you beat that? I couldn’t. I was grateful…to my family which I owe my life, my love, my eternal devotion, and most of all to God, for letting me see the year, in a place I had always dreamed to be.

Somehow, I managed to bump off tickets to see one of my all time favorite bands; twice in a year…of course you know whom I’m talking about…The Backstreet Boys. Just my luck that they had to come to town, 5 days after my birthday…and I, little ole’ broke ass me, would have to score 12^th row tickets to see them. I was overwhelmed, I just kept whispering to myself, WOW! all through the show, all through my small interlude with one of them when they descended the ramps, all through the glitz and the glamour and the CRAZY excitement of the abounding female fans, all through that I was afloat in my own little daydream, reciting WOW!…in short panting breaths.

The crowd was pretty much the same, but being as this was summer, there were more families involved in the concerts, parents brought their kids, and mothers escorted their giggly pre- teen daughters, with a stiff frown, and a stern face, making sure that they stayed out of trouble the best way they could manage. Nevertheless, nothing could stop the teenager’s from creating their own high, they're high had a life of its own; it would have taken an ocean and a multitude of men to drown them. Every time the boys put the mike to their mouths they screamed, any time one’s name was mentioned, they screamed, they screamed even when there was nothing to scream at…it was PHAT. In addition, I was a part of it I found myself in the middle of all these under-aged hyperactivity asking, “What the f*ck am I doing here? What is this…I thought you were 27, what are you doing here with kids with braces who haven’t even started growing breasts yet…to them The Beatles is a slang for a dork…who have to be escorted by their parents to an event like this…what? My mates have children they have to suckle, and here I am lusting over members of a band three-fifths of whom I was older, much older than...how pathetic am I?”

This was my frame of mind until I sighted a woman, quite mature, and gone in age, sporting a t-shirt that said: BSB for life and she wore it with a smile and a sporty pair of khakis…need I say more. That coupled with the 6months pregnant mom to be, (or already as the case may be) whom was seated 2 seats away from me. I heaved a sigh of relief when the show began, hoping that the revelation would drown out any more premature anxiety again.

I shared a semi awe-inspiring moment of my own… AJ (my favorite) looked so, so fine...so...good...I don’t know so…there. I had seen him a million times before, on TV, during their interviews, in close-up pictures by fans, Geez! I just saw him in concert in January, now didn’t I? But this was beyond that, he was fine…and happy, prancing around the stage with a mischievous smirk on his face, (it didn’t help that a lady felt the need to toss her bra at him neither) but he looked content with himself, with the people there, with life. The worst bit is that as they made their way on the ramp, he thoroughly refused to look my way, and just gave my side of the hall quick routine glances, nodding like a Lieutenant to his squadron, (*sighs*) and the person that did look my way was Nick, and for some strange reason, he kept staring at a girl that was right in front of me, I know it was her, I am not going to kid myself and say it was me he was looking at, it was her or someone with her, I guess, but in the process once I caught a dead on look into his baby blue eyes, I just had to hold up my camera, normally I would be acting all philosophical and would say, “let me save this moment in my head, treasure it, savor it, hold it in my mind’s eye…who needs pictures,” but this time I knew if I didn’t have any memorabilia of it whatsoever, it would fade even from my memory... it was a beautiful moment…one that I wanted to relive every single time I looked at the picture. I am not saying I fell in love or anything that dramatic…it was just one of those blissful, lets-keep-life-this-way-stop-time-from-moving-totally moments. A wonderful uplifting moment, so great, so endearing, that it was better than a sexual orgasm (*winks*) And sadly, it had to stop…and I had to unfortunately make a sudden transitional descent into reality…a transition that saw me fall into a pith of depression…a deep pith so much that I ended up bawling my eyes out and humming, “Yes, I Will” to myself in my sleep now and again. Sighs!!

Click here for Picturesand Captions page of the concert...and the moment.

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