-You express alarm at being dismissed from a job because "you haven't even developed a sub-plot yet."
-On your resume, under "long-term goals," it says "to save Japan, and, who knows, maybe some day, even the world."
-Your resume still says this and you've never been to Japan.
-You drop out of college after fulfilling all graduation requirements to become "a student of life."
-You hang outside motorcycle bars with your bicycle, challenging all those who leave to race you.
-You expect to win, too.
-You notice that Kintaro and the narrator call his bike the Mihizuke 5, but it's labled "Yosemite."
-You notice when Kintaro changes from a red cap to a white one.
-You think Fred Durst is nothing more than a Kintaro Oe rip-off.
-You expect to master each new thing you attempt to learn in 30 minutes, and to have a gorgeous woman fall in love with you in the process.
-You notice that in the dub version, the 1st five female leads are from Evangelion. (Asuka, Misato, Yui, Ritsuko, and Naoko, respectively.)
-You actually compare the female leads to each other, seeing which are the most alike (for my money, it's 1&3, 2&4, & 3&6).
-You write a paper defending your viewpoint.
-You publish your paper on the internet with a link on the bottom of the list. (It's not there yet).
-All of this wasn't for school.
-You dress up like Kintaro for your next Anime convention, complete with "ani-mullet."
-You do this and you are female!
-You own all six episodes in the OAV series, both on the seperate tapes and on the 3 in one tapes.
-In both subtitled and dubbed varieties.
-Then you go to Japan to purchase the unsubbed, undubbed version.
-While in Japan, you attempt to save it, because it just may be your destiny.
-You actually start to wonder why you put your hand on your waist while drinking a bottle of milk or tap the back of your head when you have a nosebleed.
-You wonder what this meant in Japanese.
-You know what this means in Japanese because you looked it up.
-All of the songs you write in your band are about studying.
-"Benkyou" is the only Japanese word that you know (It means "study," for all of you dub-watchers).
-You insist that your girlfriend call you "bicycle boy."
-Everytime you ride your bike for an extended period of time, you expect to hear a narrator giving a brief overview of your life.
-Or a catchy theme song when you ride it fast!:)
-Let's just say you were greatly disapointed when you joined that software firm back in May.
-When your mom cooks you spaghetti, you say "These are pasty old-man noodles" and insist that she turn the noodle shop over to Kintaro.
-Ummm...You never look at girls on motorcycles in the same way again. Ever again.
-You have been expressly forbidden to step within 20 yards of a public restroom by court of law.
-You know the proper way to research the mystery of "a black bra."
-You tell your parents that you want to become a "freeder" when you leave college. (Note-Once they find out what this term means, they will be notably unpleased. But that just goes without saying. Consider yourself adequetly warned!)
-You have actually met Doug Smith (the voice of goldenboy. I saw him at JAFAX at Grand Valley State this year!)
-You expect every girl to fall in love with you once you're gone. (submitted by Charles Farrell)
- You believe you can beat a Yakuza with a cooking technique.(submitted by Charles Farrell)
-Every time you see a girl you say: "I know those". (submitted by Charles Farrell)
-You believe you might someday save Animation.(submitted by Charles Farrell)
- You study law just to be like Kintaro. (submitted by Charles Farrell)
- When you can change the atmosphere from dramatic to funny in about 0.03 seconds. (submitted by Charles Farrell)
-You can wash the coffee of the shirt of your producer in just about the same time. (submitted by Charles Farrell)
-You nearly drowned and said: "So how do you like my swimming?". (submitted by Charles Farrell)
-You go to your nearest power plant to tell them that conservation is cool. (submitted by Charles Farrell)
- You can't quote proverbs correctly (after hearing them from Yakuzas). (submitted by Charles Farrell)
-you notice that naoko and noriko have the same school uniform, even though they live in different towns. (submitted by ReiriSeijin)
-you think you should be an animator just because you're pretty good at drawing boobs. (submitted by ReiriSeijin)
-you study episode three meticulously to perfect your kissing technique. (submitted by ReiriSeijin)
-you have something signed by the ultra popular best selling authour who can draw erotic illustrations better than anyone else and is the richest person alive, mr. tatsuya egawa who is really slick and handsome. (submitted by ReiriSeijin)
-you have scoured the world for the issue of the manga magazine bungee jump feturing golden girl. (submitted by ReiriSeijin)
-you become excited at the mention of C-base. (submitted by ReiriSeijin)
-you expect to recover from broken noses, cuts, bruises, black eyes, etc. in a matter of minutes. (submitted by ReiriSeijin)
-You begin carrying a note book that's strapped to your side all the time. (submitted by Olympic Ham)
-Whenever you write in it you say "This is so educational!" (submitted by Olympic Ham)
-You master the ability to know the breast sizes of woman by feeling them with your hands and are always disappointed that your first visual guess was wrong. (submitted by Olympic Ham)
-You take up Kenpo so you can be more like Kintaro. (submitted by Olympic Ham)
-Whenever you see your female boss you begin to daydream that she's in a dominatrix outfit and is dominating you. (submitted by Olympic Ham)
-You start having a torrid love affair with every toilet in your house. (submitted by Octávio Medeiros)
-Your hand can turn into a penis at sheer will. (submitted by Wu Fe Chan)
--You go around recording the bust measurments of every girl you meet in a small notebook. (submitted by Wu Fe Chan)
-You play Afroman's album "Tha Good Times" & make it the soundtrack to it (submitted by RJBrownTn. I don't get it but it sounded weird enough)
-while watching the dubbed version of Blue Seed, episode 37, you realize the anouncer is Doug Smith, then begin jumping up and down and crying with joy when he says, "This is Kintaro Oe, signing out." (submitted by Mamoru Kusanagi)
-when you find this sight and scream out " OH YES!!!!" and "OH MY QUEEN" and hug all over your monitor (submitted by Ssgohan25526. I hope the "OH MY QUEEN" wasn't referring to me. I feel rather uncomfortable in a none to comfortable way.)
-You go to a pool and try to swim between women's legs. (submitted by Peromyseus)
-You willingly grow a mullet. (submitted by Peromyseus)
-you attempt to determine whose mouth last touched something by licking it. (submitted by Peromyseus)
Got a symptom of your own? Send it here to dalehey@yahoo.com, and I'll credit you and stick it on the end of this list. I'm always looking to add more to it. Also welcome are positive/negative comments. Mostly positive ones. Oh, and don't copy these and say that they were yours, or I'll cry.
