I can't snap my fingers to save my life!

Okay, an odd way to start a story, let me elaborate here for you. When I was in my teens, I was a Girl Scout, and one of the games that we'd sometimes use to kill time was a clapping game that was punctuated with finger snaps. We'd sit in a circle, and clap and snap to the rhythm of this rhyme....one person would start and say....

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
(she'd then choose a name from the group and add it to the line)
Jenny Jones stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
(the person named would respond)
Who, me?
(then back and forth between the two)
Yes, you?
Couldn't be!
Then who?

The second person would throw another name into the rhyme, and the game would go on. But you had to be fast enough to pick a name and work it into the rhyme when your own name was called. Needless to say, I'm not always fast enough, y'know?

Funny, but the thought of this old game came back to me when I was listening to the sermon at church last week. Yeah, but for a good reason, really! Pastor J was talking about our calling from God, just as the disciples were each called, and the phrase "who, me?" popped up in my mind, just as it has so many other times before. And then, the response "yes, YOU!"

I've spent a lot of time making excuses for not doing things that I thought were too tough, or too important for someone like me to do, afraid I might mess things up. I'd hear a friend, a person at church, someone in the community, ask me if I'd do something that would make a difference, that would be important, and I'd make excuses for not doing it, thinking "who, me?" After all, what if I failed? What if I wasn't accepted? What if I caused even more problems? Excuses, excuses, excuses....my fears did the talking for me.

And yet, think of it. The people called by God in the Bible weren't what we'd call saints, or even all that competent sometimes. Young like Timothy, old like Abraham, adulterers like David, killers like Moses....and excuse makers as well! Remember Abraham's reaction to being told he was going to lead God's people out of Egypt? "Find someone else, please!"

Who, me?

I went to a one-day retreat on Saturday for our church's leadership. And maybe, just maybe, I can remember that I'm there because God has a job or two for me. And He already knows I can do it with His help. He wants to live in and through me, and empower me to do what He wants me to do. And I want to learn how to let Him. That's what I've been put here, at this time and place, for. In Him, I can do this.

Who, me?
Yes, you.
Couldn't be!
Then who?


Darcy

The new year has just begun, and already I'm wondering if I know what the heck I'm doing.....I've signed up for Spanish 111. Again.

I went over to the school a couple of days ago, hoping to get one more math class under my belt while filling out school applications over the next few months. But, much to my dismay, this class isn't being offered as a remote or as a night class in Lee or Chatham counties this semester! It was offered last semester, but my schedule (and my personal life at the time) couldn't have taken even one more burden, so I didn't take it when it was offered. Looks like I'm going to have to make time for it at my next school, which might be an unpleasant proposition. Oh, well, huh?

So, knowing that I couldn't take College Algebra, I should have sighed with relief and left the counselor's office, right? No, not me, it's never that easy. I said "I was hoping to take something this semester, just to keep my hand in at studying. What do you have that I haven't already taken too much of?" And she offered me Spanish 111, on a Tuesday night, at the campus just five minutes away from my house. Okay, so I tried it once before as a remote, and had to drop it. Okay, so a lot of schools want to see foreign language credits on your list of classes. Okay, so I WANT to know Spanish! But did I really need to take this class?

Need it or not, I've got it. And class starts Tuesday night.

Here's the point, I guess. When I first went back to school, some five years ago, I was scared to death. I hadn't written a paper in years and years, I felt weird about being older than anyone else in my class (including, sometimes, my instructors), I didn't know how I was going to scrape together the time to study. But, God nudged me to get on with it and go. Alright, it was more like He heaved me into the deep end of the pool. But He knew I could do it, He had given me the intelligence and drive to learn, and it was time I went on ahead and did what I was made to do. And once I got started, I learned that I really could do it!

Many of us never seem to know why we're here, what we were made for. We go through, day to day, just doing our little routines. We get up, go to work, go home. We do our little chores, take care of our children, eat our dinner, and go to bed, just to start all over again in the morning. Sometimes, we do things for fun, like getting new toys or going on vacation, but the fun doesn't seem to last for long. We get mired down in the day to day, and miss altogether the reason we're here. Sometimes, we don't even see that there really is a reason at all, know what I mean?

But there is. There is a reason that each of us was created. We were made, individually crafted, by the hand of God, with every single gift and ability we need to fulfill our purpose in life. We weren't made to just stay in our little daily rut, to kill time until we run out of it and die. We were made for a reason.

Let me give you one little example here. Ever seen a Thoroughbred horse run? Race horses are bred for one specific thing, and that is to go out on a race track and run faster than the other horses around them. The best of them are filled with the drive to lead the way, the need to win out over any other horse that dares to challenge them. This is something that some breeders and horse people call "heart", the overwhelming need to do what they were created to do. And when you see a race horse with heart, you know that he is giving everything inside of him to WIN. He would never settle for just standing around in a field, grazing, getting old and fat and bored. He was born to run, born to fulfill the purpose he was created for.

Can we say that? Are we taking the time to ask God what it is we were created for? Or are we just killing time till retirement? Are we just walking along in our little ruts, doing our little routines, till we run out of time? Or are we actively looking down the road, running the race we were made for?

I want to be what I was created to be. I want to do what I was made to do. Even if it requires stepping out of my comfort zone and into Spanish 111.

Baby, we were born to run!

Darcy

"So, made any New Year's resolutions?"

I read this comment online this afternoon while chatting with a couple of friends, just messing around and wasting a little time on a day off. I rolled my eyes a bit, then went on to read other comments and check my e-mail. Resolutions. HA. Nothing quite like setting myself up for a fall, making public promises to eat better, exercise more, do better financially, and every other vow we all seem to make on the first of the year. Every year. Without fail.

But, on the other hand, do we give up? Do we look at our past and just shrug? Sometimes, we look at the failures of the previous year and think that things can never change for us, that we aren't capable of doing any better. We (and I'm speaking to my fellow believers here) have a head knowledge that God forgives us when we make mistakes, when we sin and fall short of the mark, but WE don't forgive so easily. We look at our failures and think "yeah, like I can really change." And go on living in pain and shame because we know that we are so very far from where we ought to be.

And what we do not believe, we cannot do.

I have been made to look at my life today. I have gone through some changes this year that I can barely manage to believe I've made it through. Between my own trials and those of my friends, I've been forced to my knees more than once. Finally, I was forced into a corner, where I had to admit I needed help, help I didn't want to ask for. God came to my aid by sending me friends who not only wanted to help me, but didn't look down on me for needing it.

Things started to change, not only physically, but emotionally. And most of all, spiritually. I'm finally at the point where I am aware I need to let people get close to me, not to live with the stubborn pride that keeps me thinking I have to do it all alone.

And now, at the start of a new year, I am really coming to one simple conclusion: I have a very long way to go. But it's alright. I've started in the right direction. And if I trip and fall, if I slip back, I can get up, try again. The fact that I am not where I ought to be is not a condemnation, it is a simple statement of fact. And I will not be in this place, this time next year.

No matter what, I am loved. What a thing to realize, after not understanding it for so long! My failures and flaws do not mean that I will be abandoned by God or my friends. I can get up and try again, and eventually move further on.

And so can you.

Happy New Year, dear friends.

Darcy

Since the last posting of my blog, there has been a lot going on in my life. I know, most of you could probably say that, right? But every time I think I have a post settled in my head, something else happens and I need to revise my thoughts....

But when one of my online friends became a widow on Christmas day, I had my subject. So, settle in for a minute and let's talk about something we all need to remember, alright?

We all start out when we're kids, thinking that time moves slowly. Remember when you were little, thinking that Christmas would never come? Thinking that it was almost forever till your birthday? We would tell other people "I'm four and a half" or "I'm almost seven." We would dream of the day we'd be all grown up, and think about all the neat things we'd get to do and be. Remember wanting to be a cowboy or a ballerina? Remember the wonder of your very first puppy, your first big snow day, or your very first time at the ocean? We were amazed, astounded, joyful and excited over each new wonder God sent into our lives....

Then we started growing up. We learned how to drive, we left home for college or our first real job, we started to date, we took on the responsibilities of an adult in our busy society. We married, we had our children, we moved up in our profession. And we started to miss the wonders of our everyday lives. We got busy.

So stop. Take a long breath, and relax, just for a moment. And look around you for a moment, please?

We are all brought into this world for such a short time, dear ones. We are given a finite time to live, to learn what we need to know, to love the family and friends that God has put in our path. We may live for five years, or fifty-five, or one hundred and five, but in comparison to the eternity that waits on us, it's just a moment until we walk through the door into our future with God and leave behind our earthly lives forever....

I have left behind several people that I love, or rather they have gone beyond where I can see them. My choir director who left this world when his aircraft went down, my husband who died in my arms, my mother who passed on less than a month ago, all of them are gone where I cannot reach them. But someday I hope to stand with them again, to hold and be held, to know that love never dies and that we will love for eternity. There are some days I don't think about it much, but sometimes I ache with longing for the sound of a voice, for the touch of a hand that is beyond my reach.

So, dear ones, all that was said to remind you of this. Love NOW. Spend your time with your loved ones, your mate, your children, your parents, your siblings, your friends. Do it now, whatever you can do to let them know you love them, even the smallest things count. Give your husband a hug, take a walk with your kids and look for interesting things to see, go out for coffee with your best buddy. Thank people for the loving things they do, and find loving things to do for others. Time is short, beloved. Love the ones that God has placed in your path. This is your chance.

We only have now. Just one time only. And there are people who are waiting to be loved.

Darcy

Just a random thought for the day, folks.

My daughters are dancers. From the time they were little girls up to the present, they have known the routine of a dancer: the years of classes in different disciplines, the hours of rehearsal, the preparation of hair and makeup and costumes, the physical and emotional stress of performance. They both look like dancers as well: both are slim and muscular, graceful in the way they walk and hold themselves. They are uncommonly comfortable around strangers and friends alike. They are used to having all eyes on them, and don't find it intimidating in the least.

You could see them walk by you on the street, and in a moment you would know exactly what they are. They are dancers.

I am a singer. Since I was four years old and first stood in front of an audience, I've known what it is like to have people listen to me. I've been part of numerous choirs, performed as a soloist and part of ensembles in competition with other vocalists, sang with a band. I've sang with pipe organs and electric guitars and a cappella. I've spent a great deal of my life in rehearsals and performances of one kind or another, and consider it more like play than work. I have struggled through singing with colds and flu, can tell you several home remedies for sore throats, and can name several things you shouldn't eat or drink before going up to the microphone. I am more at home in front of an audience than I am almost anywhere else in the world. I think in lyric lines, I hear songs in my head, I spend hours listening to songs, just letting the music run through me and speak to me.

If you saw me step forward to the microphone, heard me, you'd have no doubt of what I am. I am a singer.

Dancers dance. Singers sing. What they do doesn't totally define what they are, but it speaks their identity to all who watch and listen. You can tell someone "I sing, I dance", but till you step forward to perform, they wouldn't really know.

So, here's our thought for the day. Most of you who read my ramblings are my fellow believers, Christians. So, tell me this. If dancers dance, if singers sing, what do Christians do? Is being a Christian to you just a handy identifier of your cultural background? Is it going to church on Sunday and dropping a $5 in the offering plate? Is it praying over your food in a restaurant? Is it dressing a certain way, sending your children to a certain school, not cussing, not drinking, not smoking?

Or, is it so much more than that? Is it knowing that God loves you more than you can even comprehend? Is it loving Him so much that you want to give everything you have to Him? Is it loving others in a way that expresses how much He loves them?

Is it so incomprehensible that you feel like you can never reach the end of it, never understand it all, so wonderful that you can barely explain your delight?

So, what do you think, dear friends?

Dancers dance. Singers sing. Christians......well......what?