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Our son Matthew was born November 17, 1996, weighing 7 lbs. 11 ounces. What a happy day! He was healthy and beautiful. His big sister, Megan, had just turned 3 and we were thrilled to have a bouncing baby boy to bless our family. The doctor had recommended an amniocentesis before Matthew was born to determine if he might have Down Syndrome because of the alpha-feto-protein screening. After two weeks of stressful anticipation, we were thrilled to find out that we were having a baby boy and his chromosomes were fine. Matthew developed at a normal rate, rolling over, cooing, smiling, and was a “good baby”. I breast-fed him for 4 months and he gained weight quickly. He was a little slow to walk, but we assumed it was because of his large size. (His father is 6’3” and 230 pounds.) Matthew quickly blew the growth charts out of the water at every check-up! He was in the 99%tile for height and weight. We thought perhaps he would be a football player like his father and hoped he would be a Georgia Bulldog some day. He developed normally although he did not talk very much. The doctor said it was probably because his big sister and mom did so much for him and he didn’t need to ask for things or talk, not to worry.

When Matthew was two years old, we were on a family vacation with cousins at the beach when we first noticed something might be wrong. Matthew was sitting is his stroller and not saying much. His younger cousin was talking and interacting much more than Matthew.  It took a family member saying, “Something is wrong-Matthew doesn’t talk enough.”  We suspected a hearing problem. Time rolled along and the audiologist said that Matthew’s hearing was not the problem. What? There couldn’t be anything wrong-Matthew was so big and healthy and happy! However, when Matthew seemed disinterested in potty-training, starting lining up his toys and retreated into his own little world, we knew something was definitely wrong. We enrolled him a church pre-school at 3 years and asked for the school system to evaluate him, still hoping that he was just a late-bloomer. His sister was quiet and she had been tested and labeled gifted!  Matthew went through the full-scale psychological testing and we were hopeful to finally get a diagnosis and some answers. Unfortunately, the news was devastating.  Based on his responses with the school psychologist, Matthew had an IQ of 49 and was severely developmentally delayed.  The cold hard truth was our boy would never play football for the University of Georgia or go to any college. He may never learn to feed or take care of himself. How could this be? We thought he was fine for over two years! Well, being a school counselor for over 10 years did not help me much intellectually or emotionally. As a mother, being on the other side of the IEP table was a whole different ballgame for me.  I was devastated and afraid that I could not cope or parent a special-needs child. I was so scared. My husband did not say much, except to reassure me that we would love Matthew and be the best parents we could. All our hopes and dreams for our son were shattered. The school psychologist met with me privately (before the big IEP meeting with 10 people) and said that my son was probably mentally retarded. She held my hand as I cried. The realization hit me that my life was going to be changed forever. However, she gave me hope that he was young and she could be wrong.

Matthew entered a special education pre-school 3 days a week and continued to attend the church preschool. He managed to interact with the other children somewhat, but was perfectly content to play by himself or watch videos. He did make a special friend that year, Damon. Damon was also being tested for some unusual behaviors. Matthew and Damon were fast friends and loved to talk and play with each other every day. They connected immediately. The teachers and other kids did not always understand their conversations, but they communicated with each other easily and had a great time together. Damon’s Mom, Donalyn, and I became friends as well and compared notes on our sons’ diet, behaviors and improvements in social skills.   It was nice to have a friend who had the same frustrations and daily challenges.  I read books, did research on the internet, cried, prayed, and hoped that Matthew would be able to become more independent and just make progress. One night I saw NFL QB Doug Flutie on TV talking about his son with autism and  I realized that it could happen to anyone and it is a terrifying experience for any parent.  No one knows what causes autism or the best treatment. Every child diagnosed could fall anywhere on the autism spectrum.

Thanks to great teachers, speech and occupational therapists, family and friends, Matthew is currently in transitional first grade and reading on grade-level. His teacher said he is the smartest kid in his class in math!  We finally got a formal diagnosis from a psychologist at Scottish Rite in Atlanta, that Matthew is MILDLY AUTISTIC.  She said he was a delightful, cooperative boy. She told us if she had a crystal ball and could predict the future that she would say Matthew probably would not attend college because of the reading involved. Matthew is now 7 years old and loves school,  playing  Gameboy Advanced-SP, Playstation and computer games. He plays ball every spring on the Sunshine League Baseball Team for special-needs kids in McDonough, Ga.  He knows all the Disney characters and met most of them at Disney World last year. He remembers details from visits to each theme park and loves his Buzz Lightyear bedroom. He gets ready for bed independently and enjoys reading or watching a video before he goes to sleep.  He loves putt-putt golf, bowling and horseback riding. He is creative and loves to write stories and draw pictures.

We still struggle with his diet, encopresis, allergies, and speech. He primarily lives on chicken nuggets, cheese sandwiches, spaghetti, cheese-its and popcorn. His drinks of choice are Sunny-Delite and Diet Coke. The allergist recommended swimming and this has also helped Matthew with his overall development physically and socially as well. We have daily struggles. But we celebrate the little things now. I smile sometimes when Matthew and his sister have sibling disputes because I thank God he can “hold his own” with his big sister! Most of the time they get along great and Megan is his biggest fan.

We don’t know what the future holds for Matthew or Damon in terms of their disability. Our goal is to help them become independent, contributing members of society. They are both smart, creative, and like the same things as most other boys their age. Damon and Matthew just learn and act a little differently. We know more research is needed to find the cause and cure for this devastating brain disorder. Won’t you please join our DAWGS (Defeat Autism With Great Success) team to help raise money for NAAR? We would greatly appreciate your financial support or help with promoting Walk FAR for NAAR. Damon’s mom, Donalyn, and I are both UGA alumnae, hence our team name. Doug Flutie, Dan Marino and the entire NFL have joined the fight to raise money for research. Please give your support and join us on May 1st at Piedmont Park in Atlanta to Walk FAR for NAAR! Go Dawgs!