Thoughts on "Jezebels" and Abuse
I find it significant that in my survey of abused believers, the overwhelming majority of the victims are women. More precisely, women who have pointed out abusive men (and were able to document the abuse).
Is this because women are more spiritually perceptive and end up being the first to notice abuse? Are females more willing to take the risk in a relationship by being honest, and therefore more likely to get burned?
Or is it that women who expose a male abuser, who try to bring it to the attention of other leaders (usually males as well), are more vulnerable to being sidelined - and punished - as a "Jezebel"?
In the abuse stories I have witnessed or have been told about, I never yet came across a man accused of "lack of submission" or labeled as a "wizard" for confronting another man with documented abuse and seeking accountability. OTOH I have heard of such men dismissed by the one under scrutiny as being "unduly influenced" or even "bewitched" by some wily woman directing his activity from behind the scenes.
So even if a man blows the whistle, the abuser often hunts for a "Jezebel" who is REALLY causing the uproar... destroying the otherwise peaceful relationship between men of G-d.
If no such evidence is found for "her" instigation, the abuser declares that "she" is simply too clever to get caught... And in a few cases I know of, the abuser went so far as to invent 'evidence' to support his suspicions of a "Jezebel" in the wings.
This kind of abuser makes 'peace' with his co-leaders by saying, "Look, you've been misled, but I don't blame you -- it's obviously all a big misunderstanding caused by her... So let's settle this between us - like men." Any co-leaders involved who happen to be female are carefully bypassed as though invisible, or (if that's impossible) they are dismissed as usurping their leadership role. I've been an eyewitness to both tactics.
The message from the abuser is that if only the women would remember their place and "be silent and submissive" (equating the two), there wouldn't BE any abuse problem.
And here I run the risk of provoking accusations of being a "Jezebel" myself (or at least a "feminist", which my husband will assure you I am not...) - but I have observed that the men to whom the above sexist message is addressed don't often challenge it. They seem anxious only to avert a major rupture among the leadership and restore a semblance of peace, so that they can "get back to ministering".
This of course is another version of the "can't talk rule", otherwise known as 'the one who exposes the problem is causing the problem.' (from "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse")
But when the Messianic/Christian abuser adds to the "can't talk rule" a gender bias that plays up to the male identity of other leaders, and those leaders let it pass unchallenged, we have a double sin in the Body where the Word says "there is no male or female".
Has anyone else witnessed this "Jezebel branding" of whistleblowers?
Women who have suffered from this branding: Are any of you willing to tell your story here?
Are any leaders aware of the male-oriented manipulation being used by abusers?
Speak out, sisters - and brothers! This is one place where you can break the "can't talk rule" without being "punished" for it by your local Tsavuah.
