What Slug is This?
by T. Avery
What Slug is this
who chomped this hole,
And in Scully's
back is squirming?
Whom townsfolk
greet, with fervour sweet,
And Scully
pathetically moaning?
This, this is
Christ the Slug,
No gross insect,
no simple bug,
Haste, haste to
tug Him out,
Before He eats
Scully's baby.
So bring Him a
doctor, a transient, a spine,
Any vertebrate
will do for Him,
The Slug of slugs,
salvation brings,
When He eats your
brain you will love Him.
Raise, raise your
screams on high,
Kick the lamp?
Well you can try --
Soon, soon you
will love the Slug,
Hey, it's got to be better than this season.
Silent Night
by Token
Screams of fright
Pierce the night
As we implant
A Trillobite
To worship a Cuthuliod Worm,
We hijack strangers on the berm.
Kneel, the trillobite stirs
Kneel, the trilobite stirs.
Joy to the World
by Token
Joy to the world
For Doggett's come.
Scully receives her due!
Pistol and knife are quick to hand
As is an unkind reprimand.
The cultists he will smite
He's making things all right.
He makes a heaven in hell's despite.
Jebus, the Slimy Savior
by Token
sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
Jebus, the slimy savior,
Made a two inch entry hole.
And if you ever host it,
It's virtues you would extol.
All of the local rednecks, (rednecks!)
Used for a sacrifice. (like Isaac!)
They were a lot like Aztecs, (Aztecs!)
Except they were a lot more nice.
Then one dusty desert day,
Doggett came to say:
"Scully in your back so white,
I'll carve out a trilobite."
Then all the rednecks loathed him,
As they all became grumpy:
"Doggett, you filthy heathen,
You killed our divinity!"
The Slug-entry Carol
by Alicia K.
To the tune of
"The Coventry Carol
Lu lee lu lah
Though little tiny
slug
By-by lu lee lu
lay
Scully the fed
Whose hair is red
Wandered to us
this day.
Doggett, he came
and blew you away
By-by lu-lee-lu lay!
Jesus
Slug (I'm Dreaming of a...)
by xochiluvr
I'm dreaming of a
Jesus slug
Just like the one
I used to host
When the slime
trail glistens
and fetuses listen
to mommy moaning
like a ghost.
I'm dreaming of a
Jesus slug
With every new
thing in my back
May your slug be
slimy and bright
And may all your
dress shirts be tight.
I'm dreaming of a
Jesus slug
With every Mulder
box I trash
May your slug be
holy and divine
And may all your Jebuslugs regenerate like mine.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer revisited.
By Token
This one goes out to all the newsgroups
out there. You know who you are.
You know Monday,
Milagro, and Memento Mori
Our Town and
Humbug and Ice and Synchrony
But do you recall-
The most heinous
X-File of all?
Sluggy the slug
Messiah,
Was a monster of
the week.
Since he's not in
the show now,
Mulder fans
commenced to freak.
All of the other
X-Files,
Things you did not
need to see.
Often in MOTW's
There's no
continuity!
And about this
grand soiree,
Carter had to say,
"What I say
will always go,
X-Files is my
fucking show."
He was still mad
'bout Harsh Realm.
As Vince G.
chatted out with glee,
"If you liked
that, then you'll love this,
The kid was sired
by Frohicke!"
By Token
Halt, the
frightened cultists scream,
Agent Doggett's on
the scene.
He got there in a
nick of time,
He followed the
trail of slime.
Holding back the
rightous horde,
Hope he doesn't
salt the Lord.
In human host He's
born anew,
A mere conch shell
will not do.
Ack, now what
becomes of us?
Doggett shot God on the bus.
To the tune of "I Have a Little Dreydl"
My gastropod
is holy
I think that he's
divine
And though they'll
crush me wholly
He's welcome on my
spine.
Oh Stylommatophora
(a scientific nod)
Of subclass
Pulmonata
A cousin to my God
To the
tune of "The Channukah Song"
Jebus slug,
Jebus slug,
Glory to thy
slime.
Sacred bug,
Snug in rug,
Bring me joy
sublime.
Savior mine,
I'm your shrine,
Do with me as you
please.
While I'm supine,
Ford my spine,
And fuck those
Maccabees!
The Crawly and the Slimey
(to the tune of The Holly and the Ivy)
The crawly and the
slimy
Will make me
Jesus' own
Despite the
groaning, I really love him
Ignore me while I
moan.
I think I feel him
munching
Ascending through
the day
Accomplishing this
holy communion
With every
vertebrae.
The crawly and the
slimy's
A paramecium
The messiah is an
osteophile
Better take my calcium.
Let it snow... or grow.
by xochiluvr
Oh, the residents
all are frightening,
But the slug is so
exciting,
And since I've no
way to go,
Let it grow, let
it grow, let it grow.
It doesn't show
signs of stopping,
And my skull is
fit for popping;
The hole in my
back's down low,
Let it grow, let
it grow, let it grow.
When they finally
tie me tight,
How I'll hate the
torture so;
But if you really
tie me right,
All I'll ask is do
me slow.
The baby's slowly
dying,
And my God is in
my spine,
But as long as you
hold me so,
Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow.
Oh, Holy Slug
by S.E. Parsons
Oh, Holy Slug
Your slime trail it is shining
You are the Slug that will bring us all Love.
Long lay we here
In desert we were pining, 'till you appeared
And you gave us rebirth.
A trill of hope
Inside a spine so holy
For though it breaks
It gives you human form.
Don't kill us, please
We'll find you a new body
Oh Slu-ug, Divine
O-oh Slug, in human form.
Oh Slug, Divi-i-i-ne
Oh Slug, oh Slug, Divine!
Led by the light
Of headlights they were gleaming
Out from the bus amid your worshippers.
The holy blood
Of your host, it was streaming
From a crushed skull to the floor down below.
The red-haired one
She yelled that she was pregnant
And soon she'd be Your Holy Virgin mom.
Beneath her skin
A lumpy, moving baby!
Oh Slu-ug, Divine
O-oh Slug, in human form.
Oh Slug, Divi-i-i-ne
Oh Slug, oh Slug, Divine!
Away
In The Desert
also by S.E. Parsons
Away In the Desert
A trill in his head
Our Master's frail body
Went smoosh and was dead
Don't worry, dear Master
Though smooshed it does lie
We'll bring you a new one
To use by and by.
Hitchhikers should
fear us
Though bland we may be
There isn't one forking
In our family tree.
We all serve the Master
That glorious slug
He makes us all happy
'Cause Love Is The
Drug.
No, nothing shall
thwart us
In our endless quest
To find for our Master
The body that's best.
That woman seems dandy
She'll be the next host
She's here, and that's handy
She'll give up the
ghost.
The Little Slugger Boy
by Magdeleine
Note:
Blennophobia- Fear of slime.
Come, they told me, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummmm
Our squishy slug to see, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummmm
Our finest hosts we'll find, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummmm
For Christ to eat their spine, pah-rum-pa-pum-pum,
rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pummm
So to gimp around, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
When he comes.
Little Jebuslug, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
I am a blennophobe, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
I cannot give my spine, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
Try the next gimp in line, pah-rum-pa-pum-pum,
rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pummm
Shall I transfer you, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
To your new sanctum.
Gimpy nodded, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
The shovel lifted high, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
I bashed his head right in, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
And found the slug within, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pummm
They all smiled at me, pah-rum-pa-pum-pummm
Me and my slug.
Slugs that We have Heard on High
to the tune of "Angels We have Heard on High".
Our
JebugSlug we know
Needs
a home where he can grow
We
must find the right body
Where
our slug can thrive freely
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Be his tabernacle
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Be his tabernacle
Hold
her folks! Don't let her go.
Pay
no heed to her screamed "No!"
Being
pregnant you will see
Is
the perfect quality
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Be his tabernacle
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Be his tabernacle
Keep
her tied down good and tight
This
will prob'ly take all night
See
him glide so gracefully
Up
the spine of dear Scully
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Be his tabernacle
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Be his tabernacle
Damn
that Doggett and his gun
He
has ruined all our fun
"Might
have been" is now our song
How
now will we get along?
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Was his tabernacle
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Was his tabernacle
Wait!
Of course! We should not cry
JebuSlugs
are born to die
One
day he will rise again!
Maybe
she will join us then
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully,
Be his tabernacle
Scul-ul-ul-ul-ully, Be his tabernacle
Goring Up Into a Fibbie's Spine
by Camahome
to the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland
What
a sight, slime trail's glistening,
While
outside, the cult is listening
A
beautiful sight, as the Slug takes a bite,
Goring
up into a Fibbie's spine.
On
the bed, Scully's screaming
while
her spine, gets a reaming.
We
pay it no mind; it's the way of our kind,
goring
up into a Fibbie's spine.
We
thought the other host would be a keeper,
but
then the Lord told us he wouldn't do.
The
Fibbie's turning out to be a sleeper,
For
instead of getting one, we're getting two!
Later
on, we'll conspire,
but
for now, we will try her.
It's
our greatest reward, to watch our Slug lord
Goring up into a Fibbie's spine.
Slug bless Thee, Inbred Imbeciles
by
K. Keil
To
the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"
Slug
bless thee, inbred imbeciles;
King
Slug will save the day.
We've
found a hot red-head doctor
In
which we'll hope You'll stay.
These
hitchikers are all a pain--
You
make their spines decay.
Oh,
we hope she's been taking calcium,
and
vitamins,
Oh,
we hope she's been taking calcium.
We
took you and inserted you
Along
her graceful spine.
It
was the greatest honor but
You
should have heard her whine.
You
traveled up her spinal cord
To
her brain where You would dine.
Oh,
she's trussed up and cannot get away,
Oh
glorious day,
Yes,
she's trussed up and cannot get away.
Her
partner, Doggett, found her at last
And
freed her from the bed.
He
drug her off to our Holy Bus,
Which
we keep in a shed,
Then
he cut You out and shot You, too--
Our
JebuSlug was dead.
Oh,
come back again our Sluggy Lord
(But
in a higher life form).
Oh, come back to us our Sluggy Lord.
Do
You Hear What I Hear?
by JLDolphin
Said
the night wind to the little slug,
"Do
you see what I see?
Over
in that house, little slug,
Do
you see what I see?
A
host a host, giving up her gun
We
will bring her goodness and fun
We
will bring her goodness and fun.
Said
the little slug to the townspeople,
"Do
you hear what I hear?
Ringing
through the sky, townspeople,
Do
you hear what I hear?
A
song, a song, sung for me and you,
With
a voice coming from ole Jebu,
With
a voice coming from ole Jebu.
Said
the townspeople to Agent Scully,
"Do
you know what I know?
On
your little bed, Agent Scully,
Do
you know what I know?
A
Slug, a Slug slivers in your spine--
Let
us make his god yours and mine,
Let us make his god yours and mine
I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
with minimal changes
by JLDolphin
I
heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their
old familiar carols play.
And
wild and sweet the words repeat
Of
Peace on earth, good will to slugs.
I
thought how as the day had come
The
sliminess of all Sluggydom
He
crawled along and sang his song
Of
Peace on earth, good will to slugs.
And
in despair, I bow'd my head:
"There
is no peace on earth," I said,
"For
hate is true and mocks Jebu,
Of
Peace on earth, good will to slugs."
Then
pealed the bells more loud and deep;
"Jebu
is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The
wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With
Peace on earth, good will to slugs."
O
Jebuslug!
by Magdeleine
to
the tune of "O Tannenbaum"
O
Jebuslug, O Jebuslug
How
gently wave your feelers
O
Jebuslug, O Jebuslug
How
gently wave your feelers
Not
only in the desert fair
You
soon will conquer everywhere!
O Jebuslug, O Jebuslug
How gently wave your feelers!
Out
in the Bus Shed
by Magdeleine
to
the tune of "Up on the Housetop"
Out
in the bus shed, cultists fret;
Up
jumps mean ol' John Doggett!
Down
through the aisle skids the slug divine;
Doggett
takes aim and blasts God (the swine!)
No
no no, you shouldn't go
No
no no, you shouldn't goooo
Out
in the bus shed, shit shit shit
Dead
is our Lord and the Feds have split.
First
came the red-headed Fed M.D.
We
stalled her car and she couldn't flee
She
was reluctant to be the Host
So
we had to tie her to all four bed-posts.
No
no no, you shouldn't go
No
no no, you shouldn't gooo
Out
in the bus shed, shit shit shit
Dead
is our Lord and the Feds have split.
Next
came the man with the shiny gun,
Doggett
the Antichrist, evil one!
He
grabbed the Host and he killed our Slug
Then
he ran off looking manly and smug.
No
no no, you shouldn't go
NO
no no, you shouldn't gooo
Out
in the bus shed, shit shit shit
Dead is our Lord and the Feds have split.