"Adam? Can I-.. Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked, her voice uncharacteristically hesitant, unsure, shy. He swirled in his chair, facing towards the door where she stood, clutching her pajama top in her hands securely. He smiled warmly, inviting her in to his office as he set aside the paperwork he'd been busy with. She scurried into his office, shutting the door behind her and took a sit in a rather comfortable padded chair in front of his desk.

"Hey Shal.. It's late.. Shouldn't you be in bed?" Not the greatest opening, he realized, but the words had come to his mouth before he could process them through. He watched as her posture changed, her shoulders lower down her back, her eyes quickly dashing to the floor.

"Yeah.. " She answered, fidgeting with the front of her nightshirt. "I just couldn't sleep.. Ya know?" She looked up, glancing briefly into his eyes.

He smiled, leaning back in his chair, his fingers intertwined in his lap. "Is there something you want to talk about?" He ventured, trying not to sound too upfront.. He knew there was something big on her mind, and didn't want to scare her before she could open up to him.

Nodding slowly, she focused her attention briefly on buttoning and unbuttoning one of the clasps on her night shirt, unsure of how to begin.

"Hey Shal.." He waited for her to stop fidgeting and look up at him. "Whatever it is.. You know I'll understand.. It's what I'm hear for.. I feel like a father to you, to all of you. You can trust me, whatever it is.. all right?"

She smiled slightly, nodding. "all right.. I just... I just.." She bit her tongue and turned away, trying to word it in her head. "Ever since Gabriel.. Ever since I... " She hesitated briefly "was under his control.. I've been having these.. Weird thoughts.. Lately." She continued with her ministrations on the front of her shirt as the words formed in her head. "Well, not just lately.. For a long time.. But uh.. More .. So.. Now.. Look, I'm sorry.. It's late and-"

"No, no, Shalimar, easy.. It's okay. It's not that late.. And you know me, I would have been here all night working on these papers anyway." He smiled once more, hoping he was reassuring her with his words.

She nodded, brushing a few errant strands of hair behind her ears. "Have you ever... Um.. Slept.. With someone? And uh, felt nothing afterwards? I mean." She could feel her cheeks burning red.. She couldn't believe the words actually came out of her mouth.

Adam hadn't quite been expecting that... So granted it took him a few moments to form a response. "You mean, uh.. Satisfaction wise?" He suddenly wondered if he was the right person to be talking to her about this..

"What? No.. I mean, well yes.. I mean..I don't know!" She sighed in frustration, covering her face with her hands briefly before moving them back towards her shirt.

"Well uh.. not every time that uh.. Two people have.. Uh.. Sex.. They necessarily have.. Well.. Orgasms... Uh.." He could feel his own cheeks turning pink. He was definitely not the person she should have chosen to talk about this to..

Shalimar suddenly choked back a laugh, covering her mouth quickly in case she did it again. "No no.. No Adam.. I don't mean.. Well.. That.." She nodded her head indicating his last sentence. "I meant.. Well, love... I guess.. Enjoyment.. Something other then.. Well.. Physical.... Uh.. Stuff."

Adam thought for a moment, remembering briefly what he'd learnt when Shalimar's ex had come back to town... He could imagine how she'd feel about the task after having dated a bastard like him... "Okay.. I think I know what your-"

"I slept with Ashlocke." The words erupted out of her mouth before she could get a hold of her thought process. Gasping, she quickly recovered her face in her hands.

Adam quickly choked on his own thought processes as what she'd just said slid into his head. "You what?"

"I know... I'm sorry.. I just.. I was under his control, remember? I didn't really know what I was doing... " she added from behind her hands.

"Wha-.. Shalimar.. Is that what this is about? You know that I know that he had control over you. Did you think that I would be angry? If anything I'm even angrier at Ashlocke. I mean, what he did to you.. It's almost.. It's almost-"

"It's not the sleeping with him, Adam.. It's that I felt nothing.. I mean, yeah, Ashlocke had me under his control, but I should have 'felt' something.. I.. I'm afraid that.. That I'm.. That I could be.. Gay?"

One thing after the other. Adam shook his head, trying his best to compose at least one clear thought of his own. "Shal, just because you've had some bad experiences with men in the past.. That doesn't mean that you're.. That you're a lesbian." He was so totally not the person she should be talking with.

"It's not just the sex Adam.." She stood up, throwing her hands behind her ears in exasperation. "I mean, yeah, it's never been 'that' good.. But my feral instincts were always in charge in those moments.. Ya know.. Find a guy on the street, talk to him a little and bring him home." She had begun pacing, knowing that now that she'd started, she'd not be able to get herself to stop until it was all out. "It was always about lust.. Fulfilling the moment.. Never attraction.. Never.. Love. Adam, when I go walk around outside, or go to a club with the others.. I'm not thinking about how great it is to be ogled by half the guys in the room, or how nice it was for that gentleman to offer me a drink... No.. I'm thinking about how nice that girl by the bar smells, or how cute the brunette with the pony tail is.." She had stopped pacing, her back towards Adam as she finished her monologue.

Adam had pointed his gaze onto his desk while she was speaking, her quick movements making him dizzy. He wondered briefly, why she had even bothered with discussing this with him.. It seemed to him that she had already made up her mind on things.. "Well.. I'm not exactly sure what it is you want me to say.. Shalimar. It seems to me that.. Well, you've already .. Uh.."

Sighing, the feral slowly slipped back into the padded chair, placing her palms downward on the surface of Adams desk, her gaze centered to a spot between her hands. "I guess.. I'm just.. I just wanted to know.. If... If.. You still.. Loved.. Me?" On those last few words, she raised her eyes to meet his.

It all dawned on him now why she'd chosen him to talk to.. Of course, it now made sense. "Shalimar.." He reached forward, placing his hands on top of hers, gripping them gently. "I will always love you.. Nothing you say or do will ever make me stop caring for you.. Or the rest of the team. I made a promise to look out for you, no matter what.. And I intend to keep that promise.." He smiled lovingly, rising from his seat to reach across the desk and pull the now sobbing girl into his arms.

Shalimar wrapped her arms firmly around Adams shoulders, her face pressed deep into the crook of his neck. Tears slid down her cheeks and into Adams sweater, but neither of them paid mind. "I love you, Adam.."

He smiled, rubbing the small of her back in small circles. "I love you too."