My English teacher had us read an essay entitled "A Modest Proposal," written by the same old Irishman who wrote Gulliver's Travels. It was satire about how the problem of Catholic children being born into poverty and making their parents poorer, mothers should raise their infants to be big and fat and then sell them to be eaten.
While my essay might not be that awesome, it's still pretty good. Here she blows:
It is shocking just how much crime occurs in America every year. Americans are fooling themselves when they believe that their country is the best; time and time again their oh-so-smart-and-civilized nation is plagued with crime. Baghdad is starting to look more safe than Washington D.C. My suggestion to end the violence? Send all the thieves and murderers to Montana, which can become one giant unguarded penitentiary.
We could build and maintain a huge barrier of Great Wall of China proportions. It would have a 20 feet tall wall all the way around Montana. Then add a moat with unfed sharks and alligators. Then, just when the crooks think they’re home free, they must navigate through a huge mine field that extends 20 miles around Montana. Any convict smart and strong enough to escape that prison deserves freedom.
This idea makes even more sense when one considers that there is hardly any good TV programming these days. One cable channel could be devoted to watching the criminals make enemies and alliances within the prison. Every time one makes a break for it, the camera will watch him become torn to shreds and fought over by legions of underwater predators. Now THAT’s reality television.
Slightly Amusing HOME