You can email me at thorney1y@yahoo.com
1. A Story you are not going to hear
2. A Mathematics Lesson
3. Remarks on the nature of reality
4. Not Quite a Scene Report
5. An activity list for beginners (who know each other
well)
6. Some biographical data (rather explicit)
Go to
another page, with more about Mrs. Thorney's approaches.
A story you are not going to hear.
Writing a story, I am told, requires
a great deal of revision. You must understand your chosen audience,
consider
their vocabulary and interests, find a proper beginning or ‘hook', and
a proper conclusion, and, at every stage, revise, revise, revise.
My wife and I have recently
been attending a Sunday School class on ‘Writing Stories of Faith'.
With
some of the other ‘senior citizens' of the church. It has been a
wonderful
class, and I suspect it has improved my story-telling skill immensely.
But I'm afraid that I enjoy off-color stories as well as ordinary ones,
and that sometimes I find stories about faith even among those stories
that our minister would not like to have me telling in the church
narthex.
My wife and I are unusually close and
share a great many interests, some of which are not entirely common
among
liberal Protestants. Since this Sunday school class is less theological
than some we have enjoyed, we have been doing some of our theological
work
at home, and one Sunday afternoon we were having a particularly
interesting
discussion of some of the passages in the Nicene Creed. We were
enjoying
the discussion immensely, but my mind sometimes wandered, as a man's
mind
sometimes will on a pleasant Sunday afternoon, to other subjects. And
over
time I found a story growing in my mind, a heartwarming story of man
and
wife and the Nicene Creed, and faith, and love. Especially love. Maybe
a little too much love to be exactly appropriate for that Sunday School
class on stories of faith.
Well, my story-telling friends
tell me, don't give up too easily on a story idea. Find an appropriate
audience. And cast your story for that audience. Let's see, if not the
church, where? I'm not sure which of my friends I could tell this one
to.
Oh, yes, the internet.. Surely some newsgroup on the internet would
like
a heartwarming story of the Nicene Creed, and faith, and love.
Especially
love. Maybe with a little pitch for going to church next Sunday thrown
in?
So I dusted off my trusty search engine,
figured out the right key words, and looked for a newsgroup. THAT ONE?
Oh, my. Well, -they- most certainly do need a story of faith, and love,
and reminding that they would be welcome in church next Sunday. But the
story will need a little recasting, if I want to make it catch THEIR
interest.
I think I can do it. A storyteller is supposed to understand his
audience,
right? And it isn't that bad, is it? I mean, there are worse ones,
aren't
there? (Quick check). Oh, yes. definitely. VERY sorry I asked. Hasty
retreat
to that one that startled me enough, already, the first time.
So I revised. What is the
vocabulary of my intended audience? And I revised. What is my audience
interested in? And I revised again. Ah, progress. A rough draft. A
heartwarming
and explicit story of love, and faith, and unbridled lust, and the
Nicene
Creed. Now what's next? Wait a minute. Before you try the story on a
group,
try it on an individual. See how they react. Who can I tell it to?
Luckily my relationship
with my wife is -very- good, and she is after all a star of the story,
even if the names and a few of the facts have been changed. Still, I
had
my heart in my throat as prepared to show her the draft and explain the
changes in names and the system of posting anonymously to newsgroups.
She was on the phone. Grandchildren
numbers seven and eight. (There are a few younger ones, but they aren't
up to this long a phone conversation yet.) Wait for her to get off. I
feel
increasing tension – does she know about this part of my imagination?
How
will she react?
As she read the story, her face fell.
Halfway through, she went back to the top and looked quite bewildered
she
read it through again. She got two-thirds of the way through this time,
stopped, stared at me, and tried again from the beginning. The third
time
she got all the way through, looked at me, and opened her mouth to
speak.
And closed it again. Back for a fourth reading.
"Well", I said finally, "what do you think?
It is fiction, after all. Does it represent you too badly?" "I have a
problem
with it," she said. A long pause. She spoke again. "Would it be OK if I
insisted on one change?" "Only one?" I said. "What is it?"
"Well," she said, "if you want these
people to go to church, shouldn't you make it clear that some of us are
comfortable in church even if we don't believe ALL of the Nicene
Creed?"
So I had to go back and revise again.
P.S. No, you don't get to hear the story.
<end of e-mail>
For the posting on which this was very loosely based, click
here.
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Permission is granted to instructors of mathematics or other
subjects to use this lesson plan without specific acknowledgment.
Similar instruction plans, or reports of use of same, may be posted
to
this newsgroup.
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3. Remarks on Reality
(the thread started because a primary school was arrested for
threatening
his teacher after
he wrote a 'scary story'. Most in the newsgroup felt that his essay
was in fact a perfectly
reasonable response to the teacher's assignment, that there was no
reason to assume
threats were intended, and that it was the teacher and other
adults in the case who were
confusing fantasy and reality.
Subject: Re: Does the Gov. threaten the BSDM culture on the internet?
Johnslve wrote:
> No, but then, we are adults who hopefully grew up with more
> of a grip on reality than kids today are.
< lots of good stuff in this and in the many answers to it...>
Re: A grip on reality.
Here is a long essay, some responsive to the thread, some
philosophical, too much autobiographical. I hope a little is fun.
I've tried to avoid this thread. But your discussion has gotten so
fascinating and valuable I can't resist jumping in.
I'm delighted with the sub-discussion
that has emerged: how kids
come to grips with reality and with the norms of society.
-------------
It is not clear to me that society has
a grasp of reality. I'm not
even sure that reality has a grasp of reality. I know that my image
of
reality is very different than that of other people and it became so
very early in my life.
I suggest that people need to form both an
image of the world and an
image of themselves. And they need to have some understanding of how
enough other people see the world that they can find a way to
translate.
When they succeed, they can function in society (stay out of jail,
obtain food and shelter, even obtain love.) Doing all this takes quite
a
few years; few people have completed it by 20. No one can be expected
to
do it by 10 or 13.
Learning to translate is much easier
when there is a dominant
language to translate to, or, to put it another way, when enough
members
of society share a common image and vocabulary. I'm afraid that this
is
becoming less and less true. The experience of the Vietnam War was
formative for one generation, showing it that the-powers-that-be had
a
very poor grasp of actual political and military reality. The breakdown
of the common religious vocabulary of American society has contributed
even more. I agree in many ways that standard mid-American
Protestantism
shouldn't be forced on all elementary school children as it was in
my
day; but to lose the common vocabulary of the Bible, the ten
Commandments, and the moral stories, may be a disaster. Poe and Dickens
(and Watergate and Whitewater) are not adequate substitutes.
I meet more and more people who cannot (like some of another
writer's
kids' friends) manage yet to translate society's rules into a form
they
can live with. Luckily, many do learn. Handholding helps. I also meet
many who can cope, many very good people. I try to organize my life
to
give me more contact with those who can, and I try to steer my kids
and
10+ grandchildren to where they can meet people like that too. And
I
try to teach my own brood to form and preserve and rely on their own
vision, not on the common one.
-----
A foreshadowing: my mother always told me that you could usually get
away with the truth, if you made it sound implausible enough. And there
were times when the truth is not welcome, or is best left unstated.
And
sometimes when society asks a question, it does not want to hear the
answer.
------
For those who have seen Kaufman and Hart's play, 'You Can't Take It
With You' -- that's just about the family I grew up in. For those who
haven't seen it, maybe a few bits will suffice. I was first questioned
by the FBI as a presumed conspirator against the President when I was
8
or 9 (in those days, violence was not assumed and it did me no harm
then
or later). My mother was the sort who would come home from the office
to discuss her progress in bribing the Pope. My father's phone was
tapped by the FBI, and a friend in the FBI sent him typed transcripts
of
his own conversations. I'm the only person I know who ever had their
baptism -revoked- by a mainline church. When you live in a fine, good,
successful, upstanding family where things like this happen, you learn
early on that this is not the same world the newspapers are reporting
on.
I learned not to say certain
things,
even when asked. I learned that
sometimes you could tell the truth, and not be believed. And that maybe
sometimes it was better if you were not believed. And I formed a world
view that let me have a very successful career and very great career
satisfaction, althought the things I get satisfaction from are often
not
the things mentioned in my annual performance review. (It isn't all
roses. Once I tried too hard to be normal, and a nasty divorce
resulted).
--------------
What do I mean by, the need to translate
world views? Let us give a
patently absurd example. Suppose one's parents did sex education by
using as texts erotic passages from the Bible and other religious
documents. Suppose one managed to become a Comparative-Religion and
Church-History fetishist. If one then wanted to talk about sex -- let
us
say, for the purpose of expressing to others one's appreciation of
God
for having found one a spouse who could adjust to or even enjoy such
a
fetish -- one would not necessarily easily find a group of people
sharing that fetish. One might, speaking hypothetically, need to learn
the vocabulary of some other group that was sufficiently open-minded
that if you used enough of their language, they'd let you use some
of
your own. You can get along, sometimes, if you know how to use the
right
words.
--------------
Does all this have anything to
do with the essay that is at the root
of this thread? I guess if I were the teacher I'd have had to give
two
grades - a low one for spelling and grammar, and a high one for
creativity. Very few young people can write down their images or dreams
or nightmares and convey such a realistic sense of what it was like
to
imagine it or dream it or suffer the nightmare. It is a shame that
the
kid was probably scared blue by the results. It is a shame that the
teacher, a counselor, most of all the parents, weren't there to
understand, to be aware of the kid's perception of reality, to
understand the kid's headspace. (I've seen plenty of younger kids with
bloodthirsty imaginations, and modern society no doubt aggravates this.
My friends and I ceremonially burned a small effigy of the school
principal, after the last day of school one spring, at about that age.)
And in this day and age, more than in mine, I wish the kids parents
had told him: Just because the teacher asks the question, doesn't mean
she wants the answer. Some things are better unsaid. And if you must
tell the truth, do be sure to make it sound very implausible.
Thorney
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BDSM ‘Lite' activites new people / new partners might want to try.
1. Wearing a token (collar / bracelet / ring etc. during a session,
to
lead up to a session, or more generally.
2. Kneeling and kissing feet or genitals to start a session.
3. Serving dinner topless / bottomless / naked / in costume.
4. Serving entire meal on top's plate, top may feed (kneeling?)
bottom or occasionally place food on bottom's plate.
5. Bottom to dust top's collection of (...) while wearing
baby doll nighty or other costume.
6. Bottom serves as coffee table / foot rest while top
watches TV / reads poetry / etc.
7. Bottom does exercises / stretches. Top supervises with
pats / pinches / gestures with cane / etc.
8. Bottom required to stand in corner / stand on mini trampoline
while top reads / examines / photographs.
9. Bottom required to use title or reply ‘Yes, Master' to
requests / commands / questions.
10. Stop during sex to require bottom to answer questions or
plead for more (‘say: Please fuck me harder, Master.')
11. Confiscate bottom's panties at start of session or another time.
12. Make bottom hold up skirts / drop slacks for spanking.
13. Frequently check bottom's genitals for stiffness / wetness.
14. Go shopping together for sexy lingerie ( Clerks in a sexy lingerie
store may be more responsive than in a more conventional store).
Hold up garments in front of bottom. Inquire if there is something
smaller / more see-through / etc. (Note: we've enjoyed doing
this
but the newsgroup was squeamish about involvin others involuntarily)
15. Require bottom to request permission to wear undies. Demand
kiss on feet / genitals / etc. before granting permission.
16. When out at movie (etc.) require bottom to go to bathroom,
remove panties, bring them back to top.
17. Spanking, requiring the bottom to rank each spank 1 to 9
(1 = too soft, 9 = too hard, 5 = just right).
18. How loud a noise can you make spanking without it hurting
too much? (Try water or oil on the surfaces...)
19. Require bottom to assume a position as if tied, without actually
tying.
20. Bottom to kneel under table and suck off top, after meal.
21. Spread chocolate or honey or selected places and lick it off.
22. Shower or bathe together, sub to carefully wash and dry top as
directed.
23. Bottom to squeeze breasts together as top rubs cock between them.
24. Bottom's behavior can be rewarded / punished in various ways
(I use a spanking for punishment, applause administered to the
bottom for reward. I suspect they feel the same except for language.
One could have sex in top's / bottom's favorite position, if they
differ.)
25. Spread bottom on bed (tied or not) and 'whip' with silk scarf or
other
thing that caresses more than punishes. Or massage with coarse towel.
Or kiss (tickle?) and touch all over, with hands, lips, cock,...
26. Top reclines and bottom massages / strokes top with breasts, hair,
lips, etc.
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The person starting the thread wrote:
> 1) How often do you have sex?
> 2) How often does it involve a scene or bdsm play?
> 3) How long have you been in this particular
relationship?
>
Since I've had affirmative responses in the group and by e-mail for
offering (explicit) details, here goes.
I'm in my late 50's, Mrs. Thorney over 75 (one of
my concessions to
anonymity is to round to about 5 years). I had a nasty divorce
about 25
years ago, she a more amicable one about 30 years ago (numerous
children). A few years after my divorce I went to teach at a different
school and she noticed me and set out to catch me (she says),
contriving
to sit next to me at faculty meetings, be valuable professionally,
etc.
I see no reason to disbelieve her reports but from my point of view
I
simple fell in lust, then love, with an exceptionally helpful older
colleague. We married about 20 years ago. I think it fair to
say that
we have each trained the other to be exactly what we want in a spouse
/
lover / partner, and are both extremely happy with the arrangement.
She asserts that satisfying me is very easy,
she just tries a lot
of things and watches and remembers what works. I describe the process
as seducing her into behavior I enjoy, by making suggestions and
rewarding / praising things I like. On the other hand, while playing
Top, I insist that she is not allowed to keep secrets from me about
what
turns her on, what she wants, what is working. Since one of my great
pleasures is driving her into ecstasy, I figure I'm entitled to require
that she help.
You asked about frequency of sex and frequency
of wiitwd.
As of fifteen years ago (notes from the
psychological
interviews
associated with a child visitation lawsuit) we typically had
intercourse
10 to 14 times a week. Now it is typically 5 to 7, weighted toward
the
7. As she got older, her tissues got a little more prone to injury
or
infection and we eventually settled on once a day, but learning to
stretch that one session out longer. She maintains my interest
for as
long as she wants by knowing my hot spots, mental and physical -- I
don't fully understand the left-over adolescent in me that responds
so
well to a plea of "Please fuck me harder, Master!", but that is no
reason not to enjoy it. Nor do I fully understand the manipulations
she
does that bring me off when she is ready (or I request it) but it works
spectacularly well.
Most of our sessions involve at least
that sort of role-play; the
rare exceptions would be if there is grandchild in easy earshot or
during the very rare family crises (e.g. death or divorce in family)
when straight tenderness is indicated.
During the rest of the day, we 'play'
with great frequency. Some
of this is ritual stuff, observed rather flexibly. I choose what
panties
she is going to wear and confiscate them occasionally. If we are home
alone, she'll hoist her skirt so I can watch her bottom as she walks
upstairs. She denies being at all submissive or having any
interest
in
being kinky, she just says she is the world's greatest expert at
keeping
me happy (she is) and that I do the same for her. I frequently follow
her into the bathroom so that she can lick my penis while she pees;
I've
asked her if that is 'kinky' and she says, 'no, we are just doing
something we both enjoy.' Lately I've been asking her to kneel
down
naked and kiss my feet; she says she is willing to do that "only when
she wants to" but so far she's decided she wants to each time I've
"suggested" it. As I say, the process involves seduction and
negotiation (she likes foot rubs, which I provide when asked). I like
to
put sexy outfits (or none) when we exercise together and pose her and
photograph her in extreme and/or revealing poses. She praises my being
supportive and attentive about her exercising for helping her to be
in
such good shape (at 75+ she does white water rafting and ocean rowing).
We have a great many common intellectual
interests and enjoy
reading books out loud to each other. For years the children complained
of the frequency with which second derivatives kept cropping up in
discussions at breakfast. Many an evening will find us naked together
in
bed with several reference books open, engaging in serious theological
discussion and sexplay ("May I please have a spanking now, Master?")
simultaneously.
I feel I have the world's most exquisite
submissive, and also get
to satisfy quite a few of my other stray fantasies; she gets all the
attention she wants and obviously loves feeling that she can be an
irresistible sexual attraction to a man 20 years younger.
We don't easily fit in any of the
standard
'categories' of wiitwd.
(I sometimes say that our main unifying fetish is Church History and
Comparative Theology, but that is clearly an oversimplification).
As usual, I've departed a long way from
the question. Hope it was
helpful.
Thorney