* Update website (Am doing that now)ANYway, you don't care about that, you care about... Spider-Man! Yes, good ol' spidey is on our movie screens (not that I'd know), entertaining us with his computer-enhanced super-powers! So I've done a cartoon about it.
* Par-freakin'-tay!!!!
* Gradually regain consciousness
* Draw cartoons (GCW, XAX, etc etc etc)
* Shoot a TMSTfilm or two
*Take over world(Oops, please ignore that)
* Go Shopping. Eggs, butter, milk, thermonuclear warhead, bread, Weetbix.
* Get results of exams. If results are GOOD, don't blow Earth to kingdom come.
* Finish drawing the LAST EVER episode of Post-Ironic Pig!
But malaryously, folks... I just discovered a malfunctional link in the Mulletboy department, where it seems that good ol' Geocities (damn them to Waimate!) has been preventing you from viewing one of the older Mulletboy animations. so I've fixed that for now, and for your convenience it is right here: 2001: A Toast Odyssey
Ahhh, that's better. Gradually regain consciousness
What th- "DRAW CARTOONS"?! AWWWW! Be afraid, be very afraid! Yes, the next comic might be about you (if you're famous enough).
Is this a picture of a cat?
Why do you associate this picture with a cat? Because it looks like a cat? Or because your mind is telling you that it looks like a cat? What if it really looked like, say, a cheeseburger with extra pickle, but your mind told you that it looked like a cat, hm?
The point of all this is that I made a fortuitous discovery last week (so amazing, in fact, that I forgot to tell y'all about it until today). This amazing discovery solved the problem of my room being cold enough to [insert favourite "cold" cliche here]. Y'see, when I moved into that room in the Summer, I noticed a bar heater hanging on the wall, which I promptly hung my painting on, thus turning a heater into a picture hook. And so the weeks and months rolled by, and as they did, my puny mind eventually redefined the heater as a picture hook. So when the icy cold of Winter at last came lancing through the walls and into my room, chilling me to the bone, I never thought of turning on the heater because, according to my mind, THERE IS NO HEATER. Whenever I looked at that heater, I saw only a picture hook.
Until, one freezing afternoon whilst studying for exams, I chanced to notice a piece of cord hanging at the back of the picture hook. Something didn't add up. But then something else did. That wasn't a picture hook, that was a heater! My puny Earthling mind had simply been telling me all along that it was NOT a heater, but a picture hook.
So now I have a heater. And the painting is safely stored away. (The last thing I want is to do something stupid like hang the painting on the doorhandle and then wonder why my door has no doorhandle, thus trapping me forever!)
But what have we learned from this involuntary psychological experiment? We've learned that if an object is used in a way for which it is not intended, one's mind may redefine the object so that it is perceived as an object which is intended for just that use.
Just how blind are we humans to this type of misassociation? Is the government hiding nuclear weapons in broad daylight by broadcasting subliminal pictures on TV of people using nuclear weapons as one might use, say, supermarket trolleys, so that when we see a nuclear weapon our minds tell us that it's only a harmless supermarket trolley and nothing to get excited about?
(Why else would the police try to stop idle youths from borrowing supermarket trolleys?)
Do aliens walk among us, having successfully conditioned our puny Earth minds over the years to make us think that they don't have three eyes, many tentacles and five mouths full of razor-sharp fangs? Take a look around you. What didn't you notice before? Hm? Perhaps the reason you've lost your keys is because you've been using them as a lightning rod for the past week?
Anyway, the moral of the story is: See with your eyes, think with your mind. (Or something like that. Don't listen to me, I might be trying to brainwash you.)
And now: A deep, philosophical, surrealist Andrew Kepple Original to hang on the wall.
I did not inhale.
And now, we go LIVE to an exclusive interview with The Clique's Hilaire Carmody.
Int: Hilaire, what exactly is "The Clique"?
HC: It is a special bond between Andrew and I, snubbing everybody else. (Especially Corey.)
Int: Right... so, what sort of music do you make?
HC: Short. Emotional. Deep. Wanky. Punk meets REM and dies horribly and entertainingly.
Int: Allegations are rife that you and Andrew have been taking certain "substances" for inspiration. Are these allegations tr-
HC: Certainly. Would you like some "substances", too? You can't feel the art without tasting it first.
(Uncomfortable silence)
Int: So far, you have produced only ONE... "song". What do you plan to produce - if anything - in the near future?
HC: Well. Considering that our songs are less than a minute long, and the average CD is sixty minutes long (is it?), at least another 59 songs will be done at some stage.
Int: Any words of wisdom for our viewers?
HC: It's easier to drink something bigger than your head than it is to eat something bigger than your head.
Int: Indeed. Thank you, Hilaire.
Look out for further additions to The Clique's repertoire on the Too Much Spare Time network's homepage.
And just in case there is a remote possibility of some unlikely chance that I might perhaps happen to become delusional enough to entertain the notion that you really gave a rat's derriere, guess what? The other day I was conned into becoming a redhead (by two un-natural redheads). And that's why I now look like this:
Nah, just kidding. I'm proud of it... keep watching the picture above. There! See that?
Every day there are more of us. We are taking over. Next time it could be you, or your next door neighbour, or your dog, or whoever. (Here's a thought: Why is it that so many male cartoon characters are readheads, but in real life there are no male redheaded famous people? Well, apart from that guy from Happy Days, but... yes, well.)
The results of exams came out today! And, since I know that the only reason you lot come to my webpage is because Reality TV has warped you into voyeuristic drones who get a kick out of observing the misfortunes of others, I've prepared something special for you. Oh yes, have I got a treat for you today! I filmed my own reaction to my exam results. WATCH ME SQUIRM.
Click Here To See The Results.
Here is the envelope which contains my Destiny (or DENSITY, as the case may well be...)
Blah blah university... blah blah attainable grades... blah blah Aegrotats... blah blah restricted pass...
???? Look at that face! What could it be? The suspense mounts! Bite those nails, people! How's it all gonna end?
Phew! Wasn't that fun?
The real kick-in-the-pants-while-not-wearing-any is that although I passed COSC230 after failing it last year, I'll hafta repeat it anyway if I want to use it as a prerequisite (which I don't, so mnyeah). The wise and profound moral of this story is: "If at first you totally screw up, trying again will only bring a marginal improvement. After that, do you really want to risk a Strike Three?" Or maybe this wisdom probably only applies to me. Sometimes. Oh well, at least I now get to destroy half the world. The question is, your half or mine (or both)?
Tomorrow, the University of Canterbury Students' Association is having an election year protest! Oo, what fun. Why, I remember back in the day... [flashback to 1999] ...it was the end of the twentieth century and education fees were rising ludicrously. On top of this, the total student debt of NZ was approaching 3.5 billion NZ dollars. So us students stormed the Registry building and occupied it for a few days, costing the Uni thousands of dollars! Woo! (Somebody made a website about the '99 protest, and I got one of my cartoons included in it. It was by definition one of my first ever web comics!)
But anyway, this time it's 2002 and the debt is 5.1 billion, and it rises at a current rate of about NZ$40,000 per day. Such an amount is beyond a numeric value, really. It's laughably astronomical, one might say. So tomorrow, me & the rest of GBHTV will be out there with the camera in the field, collecting the juicy bits! Tune in tomorrow for pictures of the protest! Power to the people!
...with a cute little animated and musically-accompanied travesty of innocence called "LemmingDance".
A fan of my Commander Keen cartoons sent me the following e-mail:
Field+name: GCW updates
Textarea: Yes! Finally New Noel & Leon comics! W00t!Cholerae aka Gilles Vandenoostende
Okay. So, what did I do today, I hear you ask. Why, I decided to go and make a political statement about student debt. Y'see, students are the ONLY group of people in this (un)fair country of ours who have to BORROW MONEY in order to live. That's hardly fair. So you know what really pisses me off? When students who don't really NEED student loans and whatnot use the student loan scheme to cash in and buy expensive cars and computers and stereos and beer and the like! Fwoar, that just makes me MAD! And when I get mad, I GET VENGEFUL! And people get HURT! And that makes me feel SOOOO BIG and THEN I LAUGH! HAH, HAH, HAH, HAHHH!
So I went in search of one of those loan-drones, to make an example of. Ha ha ha! It wasn't long before I found one such student, listening to his mindless Eminemptywithoutme and Moby-One-Eight-Kenobi CDs on his stereo with speakers that take up an entire wall of his flat. I looked in the garage and guess what? His big, shiny, expensive car was sitting there! Naturally, I had to SMASH it! HEE, HEE!
I love being a big tough robot!
Well, how would I rate this day? On a scale of one to ten, I rate this day "sausage". And there's nothing you can do to stop me, HAH HAH HAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Anyway, there's ANOTHER protest rally on tomorrow, just to the drive the message home to all those politicians. Should be fun! Come back here on Saturday for updates on how it all goes!
Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? (Or is that just the hairballs?)
If so, then I suggest that you tell more people about GCW, because not enough people out there are reading it! This isn't about ME wanting VIEWERS, this is about all those "starving millions" who are missing out on GCW because YOU aren't telling them to go take a weekly look at it. Go on. GCW: It'll leave you feeling as warm and fuzzy as if you'd swallowed a live kitten.
