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I really hate people peeping in my life without my own knowledge. I'd rather tell the whole truth myself and with my own way of saying things then people saying things which they have interpreted wrong from me. My philosophy is rather strange and as I might call it 'innovative'. I think that the Maltese society is really ignorant about what makes a person. Is it just the tendencies? Is it just the way of living? I am quite liberal from the traditional way of thinking. I don't hold to the Maltese saying: "Ma minn rajtek, xebbahtek !" (the English equivalent is: 'Birds of a feather flock together'). If it were so then I might have gone by as a drug addict, as a pusher, as a prostitute, as a pimp, ... and a whole series of others. But as far as to my knowledge I do not have such tendencies. Oh God, what ignorance! But I'll keep on striving on with life and in one way or another my way of being will come in the forefront.
I can keep on continually thinking about how is life made of, what is the subject matter of the whole of life and what makes us react in such a way! Well, I have not found the answer but I know that I'll keep on searching all through my life! In my life I have had many mishaps which made my life miserable! I've lost friends: a great much of them. And you know why? Because I have seen life from a different point of view! I've made enemies with many people because I've always expressed the truth about my knowledge! I have been passed as a maniac because I'm tolerable quite about a number of things which society damns in the abyss of hell! These same things do pass on every single day in my life and every single day people label me with a new bull mark! Well, I don't care much what people say. That's why I get mad when people continually misperceive the meaning behind every word said! I do strongly believe that 3/4 of the Maltese community, which has the nick of the "Maltese gemgem", don't really know what the truth is behind many aspects of life. And this also includes the professional people. I strongly oppose all type of ignorance but living here makes this quite impossible to cope with life. I'd rather fight for independence than escape to a foreign land where society has become liberalized in such a way that it lost its main aim. Take for example the word that Christ came to proclaim, he knew other means to escape the passion hours but for the sake of the Truth (with a capital T) he did leave people pass on the wrong judgement on him. And the result? Christendom has ever lasted for the past 2000 years! Take Christ's psychological aspect and assume it yours! It sounds ridiculous but after all Christ was a human being like every single person and it was only his spiritual being that made him superior to the other humans! As long as he lived on earth he was an emotional person, he cried, he loved, he fought for life, and he strived for a living. If one has to be a true Christian he has to see the whole of Christ not as the spiritual Saviour but also Christ the human being! Oh yep! I know what I am saying! And that's why even though when I'm in crises I don't see Christ as the omnipotent which I cannot say anything about him but the down to earth person who has faced life in such a harsh manner that made humanity bow in front of him in the most humble way!
I do feel down living here in Malta, even though I'm proud to be living here ! It's usually a relief going abroad for some time, it refreshes me ! And also spending time for myself makes me feel better or at least the few company of friends left with whom I can truly say that I feel at home with. I like to talk all about sociology, ethnology and the anthropology of every society (or the few I know ). And some final words: think that the whole of matter is made of one single word : LIFE. Take life away from everything and what remains ? VOID and VACUUM ! Life incorporates : love, relationships, hatred, peace, knowledge, wisdom, all that is material and man made, all virtues of life.
You'd better ache with pain for a heart fulfilled with happiness than let go !" Yes, it's ironic: pain vs. happiness ! But after a thoughtful evening I made this phrase mine ! Well, to fully understand it, one needs to clear some ideas.
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